You would think that it just wouldn’t be possible for something called “Monster Vision” to not be among the coolest inventions ever. I mean, the possibilities that the name conjures up are just so geek-boy awesome that how could it possibly be a letdown?

Monster Vision could allow you to immediately determine once-and-for-all which of your friends was well and truly undead, liberating you from those difficult should I/shouldn’t I shotgun decisions we all face.  Or Monster Vision could enable you to blast unholy rays from your eyes Cyclops-style, mercilessly frying any that refused to succumb to your will. Sadly, though, Monster Vision is none of these things, but rather Monster Cable’s latest bit of marketing schadenfreude.

Now, the Head Monster, Noel Lee, is never one to miss out on a marketing opportunity. He has come up with “high performance” USB cables that are basically $20 items that say Monster and otherwise look identical to all those free ones that are probably littering the floor around your desk right now. He has developed $17 bottles of “specially formulated” green magic juice to clean your cell phone screen of all your horrible ear fungus. He has Monster Batteries, Monster headphone splitters, and Monster Mints (yes, kinda like Altoids, only more expensive).So when 3D started making a push, it was only a matter of time until Noel found a way to Monster-ize it. And for those of you looking for any way to spend more money on your brand-new 3D TV, that wait is somewhat over.

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